hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
