I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
