YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
