All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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