why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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