mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
