when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
