Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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