I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
