this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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