This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
