Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize