Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
pray to the hookup gods
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
