dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
