he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
