Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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