just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
