I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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