forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
