Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Randomize
