Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
