Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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