I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
