One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
