Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
