I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
