You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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