Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
