We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
