How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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