apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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