How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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