Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
