His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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