Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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