some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
