I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize