Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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