Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
