do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
