Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
