She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
