I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
