Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize