Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
