Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
