I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
