Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
