i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
