Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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