I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
