Your tits are I can't wait for
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The beer is more important than you right now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We need a shit load of segways right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize