i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
