Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
