im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
