Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
