I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
