He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Your cock deserves a montage
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
