How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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