I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
