the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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