her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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